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Sweet Shelby...you have been deceived. Every month you write in and I read your prayer requests and my heart breaks a little because I can see where you're headed and it's a miserable, dangerous road you're on. I know because I walked that road a little...not when I was your age but later in life and it led to some of my biggest mistakes and hardest battles. There is this huge lie that gets preached to women (young and old) in this world that if you could only find the right guy everything would fall into place and you would be happy. Even our church and our parents can sometimes feed that lie without realizing it.

The truth is that the only person who will ever really make us happy is Jesus and if the devil can get us to replace Him with someone else, a boyfriend or husband maybe, then he wins and we lose our soul in the process. There is no "perfect guy" out there who God has created just for you. He created each of us for Himself, and although there might be someone out there who would compliment you well, Jesus is the only one who can complete you and give you peace. You say that you've tried Jesus and He's not working but I think that maybe you haven't really tried Him, you've just done the church stuff. And I think that maybe you feed this desperate desire for a boyfriend and sex with what you allow your mind to daydream about, and the books and movies you put into your head. I could be wrong. I could be totally off base, but my own experience has taught me that I can't get frustrated with Jesus for not making everything better when I spend more time pursuing my own lusts and dreams than I do Him.

I wish we could go get lunch or coffee and I could ask you some questions. Like what do you think about most? What kind of stories do you dwell on in your own time and do they preach something other than Jesus as the greatest love you will ever know? You (and a ton of other girls walking around today) have bought the lie that a physical relationship with a guy is better than an intimate relationship with Jesus and you said that you have already decided to sin when the opportunity presents itself. You said in one of your recent posts that you're planning on having sex before you get married because you think that's the only thing that will make you feel better, but before you actually do it I want to encourage you to change your mind and throw yourself completely at Jesus.

When I was in college I gave myself away cheaply to a guy who said all the right things and promised he would stick around forever...except he didn't. He just stuck around until he was tired of me and then moved on to someone else and I was left heartbroken and in worse shape than when he first came along. It took years for God to heal the damage that relationship caused and He's still working on some fears that took root because of that one rejection. Our hearts are not made to thrive on abandonment and unfaithfulness so when we give ourselves away to people who use us and then leave, it destroys us bit by bit and only Jesus can put back together what others have shattered. Why do you think God says over and over and over in the Bible that He's loving and faithful - that He'll never leave us or abandon us? It's because that's the kind of love we are created to run on and that's what we're all so desperately looking for. Any boy who will take advantage of that need in you for his own gain isn't acting out of love but out of selfishness and I promise it will end badly.

I know you're hurting and tired of it. I know that you want the pain to stop and for life to get better. Jesus is the only One who can do all that and more. He can give you a joy and peace that doesn't go away no matter what happens in your life and He's the only one who can honestly promise to be with you every step of the way. Please don't give up and give in to the lie you're believing, it will lead to more hurt and despair than you're dealing with now. Instead, try throwing out everything that stands between you and Jesus and start replacing the lies you're believing with the truth. Dig through your Bible and find everything God says about Himself and ask Him to help you believe it. And ask Him to show Himself to you...so you can see for yourself how amazing He is. The devil prowls around like a lion trying to destroy everyone he sees but God is so much bigger and stronger than him. Don't give up and remember you're not alone. There are a lot of us praying for you!

Love
Jamie